January 2009
135 posts
Snow Patrol - Somewhere a Clock is Ticking
8:56 pm
Cycling this morning kicked my ass and possibly broke my ladyparts. I still haven’t quite figured out how to sit properly for the duration of the class without hurting something too much. Rather unfortunate situation but I keep being reassured that it’ll get better. Perhaps when I start going more often? Anyhow, the instructor was pretty good but not nearly as motivational as Tammy. I...
“I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It’s so funny - when...”
– Emma Bunton on moobs. A-HA! I am not the only one! Eat that Andy!
“Rest assured, I do not have a vagina”
– Steve, who gets no context for this one because it’s funnier without.
5:15 am
I am awake and dressed! Woo!
Breakfast text exchange OR Connor is wildly...
Blayr: Breakfast @ 9? My mum would like to come.
Connor: If she comes she pays; it's in the parent-child rulebook for ages 19-24.
Blayr: That is terrible. My mother says you can kiss her ass. So yeah.
Connor: Well, I charge a dollar per photo then. That's my only request.
Blayr: You disgust me and I will see you @ 9.
Connor: Word
9:35 pm
Couldn’t be assed to get out of bed this morning @ 4:55, so I slept in and missed cycling. I’m going tomorrow morning instead. Then I have the day to nap, do homework and be ready for my pretzel party with Kendall tomorrow night.
I’m actually super psyched for cycling. I think I’m addicted to it and I also love the women in the classes. They’re so supportive of one...
11:24 pm
I have a headache and might be slightly concerned that I have leukemia now. Whitney’s hypochondria has rubbed off on me. Sweet.
Also, Alley’s mum and sister are visiting her from Korea! To them I say 여보세요!
Note: I double checked that Korean translation and it came up the second time meaning “woman bond” (it’s supposed to say hello)… I’m willing to...
“You are beautiful and paranoid”
– Steve
“Well, I might talk to him…I can handle having sex with him. But I’m...”
– Amy, who incidentally may or may not be having a threesome in the future with a 53 year old man and the lesbian mother of his child (who happens to be her go-to for TAing). Complicated? Nah…
Reason number 1,233,434 that I hate my school:
I sat in my women’s studies class today looking around and realized that the entire class is full of models. What. The. Fuck. How is it possible that there are that many beautiful women in one place at one time? More importantly, why do they all go to my school?
Nothing like a group of gorgeous women to give your self-esteem a big kick in the pants. Jeeeesus.
Oh, the most irritating ones...
9:16 pm
Cycling tomorrow, 6:10 am. Be there (in spirit!)
I have had this stuck in my head for a significant...
Sad.
I just read this article. That poor girl. I suppose it could’ve been worse as she could’ve had to do the whole chemo thing and be miserable, but it’s still just as crap. Condolences to her family.
Also, now every time I get a headache I will think I have leukemia.
Cancer… what a complete bitch.
3:20 pm
What’s going on today? Hmm… not too much. I showed up for cycling this morning and the instructor never showed. Hopefully she’s ok, I was a bit worried that she didn’t call the gym. Anyhow, I’m going to give it a shot again tomorrow and/or Friday. This means possibly two more mornings of getting up at 5am. Ugh.
Anyhow, now I’m off to school. Hand stuff in,...
“It tastes like the bread patties at church… You know, the patties.. of...”
– Bethany, about the apparently bread-like piece on the back of her cake last night
“And here is some Normaderm Nuit… that means night!”
– The drugstore cosmetics lady who clearly thinks i’m 1. Challenged and 2. Not from Canada. She also clearly didn’t listen when I said I already use the products. I giggled, but on the inside.
Note: I was getting sample sized shit for Chicago… unfortunately she didn’t give me...
I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. →
10:45 pm
Cycling tomorrow at 6:10 again. Holla! I’m sick but I’m effing going.
Also, had dinner with Connor, Bethany, Connor’s friend Mike and Connor’s new girlfriend tonight and all I have to say is: I. Love. Natalie. The end. So there you are Connor… seal of approval granted.
xox
Currently playing: I can’t stop hiccuping, does that count?
Snap for Obama. →
10:44 pm
I got a LOVELY surprise in the mail today from Miss Bailey! She sent me an ecard in the mail (because she’s hilarious and awesome like that) as well as a solid shampoo from Lush! She and I have this thing about mail, so she knows how much I loved it. So unexpected and wonderful. I truly have the best friends anyone could ask for.
I can’t wait to try my shampoo! Thanks Bails!
...
Noooooooo
The boy I have a minor (very minor) crush on is now “In a relationship” with a girl on facebook. Boourns. It would never happen, but still.
A little piece of me is broken.
Comfort.
Blayr: I just touched my boob for comfort and my hand smells like dryer sheets now. How fascinating... and delicious!
Andy: LOL! OMG! I don't know what's funnier...the fact that you touch your boob for comfort or that it smells of a dryer sheet
Blayr: Listen _______, I find my breasts to be a very comfortable place to rest my hand... I don't need to justify that to you.
Andy: Well I don't stick my hands on my crotch... very often
Blayr: You're really missing out by not having your hand on your crotch
Andy: Oh please, my hand rarely leaves my crotch
Blayr: And the truth comes out...
I am STILL laughing from this... Hilar. →
He also knows the meaning of life...
Andy: The library is as silent as a cricket
Blayr: Is that some sort of Chinese proverb?
Andy: It's quite possible
Horrifying...
How are Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 going to settle all of the sextuplets into college? This is of course assuming that they’ll have enough money to send them all… but can you imagine? Jeeeeeeeesus. That’s a lot of stuff to haul…
WatchNow I love Kanye, don’t get me wrong… but bitch is on something.
Also he’s taken his love of excess a little too far and that mullet needs to go ASAP - it’s not funny in an ironic way, it’s disgusting in a blatant way.
My mother woke me up by dangling a package of condoms in front of my face today. She bought them for me… as a joke, but still. They are a pleasure pack of three Trojans - regular ribbed, for her pleasure and one for mutual pleasure.
Good.
It’s a good thing I don’t get embarrassed very easily.
Grapefruit
Mum: Blayr, you've gotta eat these grapefruits
Me: I am!
Mum: Not fast enough. One of them has petrified...
Me: I'm sure I can still eat it...
Mum: It's a baseball now... (throws it at me) See?
“Rule 17: Don’t turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the...”
– Dwight, The Office
Oh, hellllllll yes. →
2:54 pm
Pictures went pretty well. I wore foundation for the first (and last) time in my life for them… I will never be a foundation wearing woman. I looked completely unnatural in real life. In the pictures, it’ll be great but yuck otherwise. Also, I just had to scrub the crap out of my face to get it off. I don’t know how women can wear it everyday. Not for me.
Anyhow, the...
10:16 am
It’s grad picture day! Woo!
Kinda nervous actually… I’ll update on how it goes.
Hard Boiled Eggs...
Should only be reheated in the microwave for a maximum of 15 seconds. Any longer than this and they explode.
Lesson Learned.
Note to self:
Stop asking people what they’re doing for Valentines Day, as 5 out of the 5 people you’ve asked had just broken up with their boy/girlfriend.
Blayr fact number 1,284,274: I have very poor timing.
Observation
Women’s only half of the gym playing: Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put a ring on it)
Co-Ed half of the gym playing: Something to do with women ‘shaking it for me,’ ‘me’ being the male rapper singing the song.
Nice.
“We do a lot of emails..
He’s sent me like 6 emails already, but they are...”
– Alley’s most recent facebook message to me about her now long-distance love affair with Per. We love Per now. Hilarious little man but doesn’t even compare to Alley in terms of humour.
Also, I’ve informed dear Alley that I am of French (on mum’s side) ancestry. Don’t...
I lied. I want this too. →
I want this. The end. →
“OMG! Blayr! He’s the cutest man alive! In that moment, I turned straight.”
– Anonymous, commenting on pictures of a love interest of mine. So secretive eh?
Snap.
Sheldon: ... you know what? You know what the Hulk turns into when he gets angry? Do you? DO YOU?
Blayr: I do
Sheldon: Oh really?!? Cause he turns into me!
Blayr: A 19 year old film student?
